Have you ever felt like a loser? Was there ever a challenge that seemed daunting or overwhelming? That’s how I’ve been feeling lately. I’ve been out of work for over a year. I ran out of money after I lost my job and had to move in with my sister. It’s hard finding work but I occasionally do find a job. Then the problem is making it last longer than a week. I once had a job that lasted eight years. Now I can’t make a job last longer than a week. In the middle of all of this, I was diagnosed with asperger syndrome. So, now there are two major issues on my mind....how to keep a job and understanding my disorder and what that means for me. Chess was the farthest thing from my thoughts two weeks ago when I bumped into my friend Pablo in front of the Tea Garden.
I was out for a walk in uptown late one tuesday afternoon. I was in the throws of a depression as two issues were at the front of my thoughts. They were my current living and employment situation and my recent diagnosis of asperger syndrome. I came to a conclusion about both of them. As to my problem keeping a job I decided that all I can do is live with the way things are. No, I’m not happy about that conclusion and it’s not a solution but I don’t have a solution right now. As to my asperger syndrome. I decided that I need to read more books about it if I am to understand it better. I found myself at the corner in front of the Tea Garden as I wondered what I should do next. That’s when I saw Pablo. We spoke briefly. “I’m meeting some friends for chess.” He said. He asked if I would like to join them. Why not? I thought. All I’ve got now is time. He invited me in and I followed him inside.
We found his friends and sat down at their table. Pablo unrolled a tube. It was a portable chess board. I had never seen a portable chess board before. I was amazed by it. Pablo asked me if I had ever played chess before. “No.” I said. Pablo began my lesson. He introduced the pieces to me; the pawns, the knights, bishops, rooks, queen, and king. He instructed me in the ways that those pieces could move across the board. The pawns could only move straight ahead, but they can capture diagonally and you want to save them if you can because they could potentially make it all the way to the other side and get promoted. Also, they protect the other pieces. The knights can only move in an L shape, but they can jump over other pieces. The bishops can only move diagonally but they can move all the way across the board in one move until another piece is in their way. The rooks like the bishops can go all the way across the board but they can only move straight ahead. The queen can move in any direction she wants as many squares as she can. The king can only move one square at a time in any direction.
The game began. I played with Pablo’s friend Pete. Pete knew that I was a novice and occasionally gave me some guidance...when he saw that I made an “illegal” move. Pablo and another friend sat at the table next to ours with another portable chess board and a clock. They’re playing a serious game. I thought. Every time one of them made a move they would tap a button on top of the clock. Pete and I were not playing with a clock so our game went a bit slower as we would often pause to think about what move to make next. I lost that game, but it wasn’t about winning or losing. It was about learning something new and having fun, which I did.
I met Pablo and his friends at the Tea Garden again the next tuesday evening for another round of chess. I played with Pablo’s cousin this time and lost again. Oh well. It still wasn’t about win or losing. It was about taking my mind off of my problems for a couple of hours, relaxing, and having fun playing chess.Then I played with Pete’s son and lost to him. Then I met Pablo’s friend Julie.
In walked Julie with her cousin Katheryn. They sat at our table and we all chatted briefly as Pablo gave Julie the same lesson he had given me. Pablo introduce me to Julie and he told her that I was just learning how to play chess too. So, Julie and I played chess. We had a nice conversation while we played. Julie is in the boat I’m in. She’s out of work, out of money, and sleeping on a friend’s couch. I mentioned that I was having “crappy luck” with jobs lately. “These are bad times for everybody.” Pablo interjected. Pablo watched as Julie and I played and he acted as a consultant.
Julie and I played for a good forty minutes and at the end....I won! I didn’t expect to win so I didn’t have an endgame strategy. When it came down to just my two rooks and her king I knew I had her cornered but I didn’t know how to finish her off. Pete showed me something called a rook roll. He showed me how I could use my rooks to push her king back until there was nowhere left for her to go but her king would still be in check. this was called a check mate. I walked home in a good mood that night. I had a fun evening playing chess with friends and I won. I was surprised that I had won. For once, I didn’t feel like a loser.
